Nervous System Regulation: Stress, Response Modes, Addiction, And Normalization

Today, I sit down with Leks Vucko, a nervous system and freedom coach who helps people break free from chronic stress, trauma cycles, and the patterns that keep them stuck. Ms. Vucko shares how her own transformation—from quitting smoking cold turkey to running a fitness studio and finally discovering the root cause behind why so many people struggle to create lasting change—led her to dedicate her life to nervous system coaching. 

In this episode, we discuss the science behind why our bodies often keep us trapped in survival mode. We explore why stress, addiction, unhealthy relationships, and even self-sabotaging behaviors can feel “safe” to the nervous system, even when they’re destroying our health and happiness. Ms. Vucko breaks down practical ways to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and begin creating a new identity that allows for freedom, growth, and success. 

We also talk about the cultural differences that shape our nervous systems, the dangerous role social media plays in overstimulating our brains, and how unhealed trauma and normalized stress are fueling burnout across the world. Ms. Vucko shares tools such as breathwork, EFT tapping, and nervous system retraining strategies that can help you regain control of your mind, body, and emotions. 

https://www.leks.pro/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eft-tapping-explained-easy-efficient-healing-and-peace/id1657865479?i=1000709558331

Website: https://coupleonukes.com

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*Couple O' Nukes LLC and Mr. Whiskey are not licensed medical entities, nor do they take responsibility for any advice or information put forth by guests. Take all advice at your own risk.

Transcript

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode. A couple of nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and an age old question one might say is, do we control our bodies or do our bodies control us? That's, that's a good question. And I say that all in the pre-con of talking about nervous system regulation and the body's instinct to survive and the humans will to always.

Push back and, and push forward toward, um, outside of our comfort zone to do things that our body is gonna say is not safe. But we say, no, it is safe. So how do we connect them? How do we regulate our nervous system? How do we get everything in sync so that we can truly not just survive, but thrive? And here with us today, Lex Ko to discuss that and to share some great information with us.

So could you please give us a little introduction about yourself? Yeah, absolutely. Hey everyone, I am Lex. Uh, I am a nervous system and freedom coach, and I got led to this journey because of my own path and feeling stuck. And just like you were talking about our, what does our body feel is safe. I felt stuck for a long time and I figured it out what the root cause is, and now I can shut up about it.

Yeah. So can you kind of go into your personal journey about like maybe some of the things you were trying to achieve and what was holding you back? Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, somewhere in my twenties, I, uh, started going to the gym and I started loving it, like the changes that were made on my body.

And I was like, everybody needs to know about this. I became a trainer. Because I thought everybody has to feel this good. And then through work with people, I understood, okay, nutrition is a whole nother subject. So I dove into studying about nutrition while obviously wanting to help people. So I connected fitness and nutrition and I was like, okay, why do people get results or temporary results?

Why we're not getting. Always full results. And you know, in, in my whole journey, I opened a fitness studio and we did workouts there, but we also did meditations and a little bit of breath work and some visualizations. And this was my own personal journey on trying to figure out things for myself, like.

Why is my business limited and how much, how much I can earn? And then why is it that I can only get these kinds of results, even with my own body and then with my clients as to why can't they break through? So all of this kind of led me to frustration, more and more frustration as to why do I feel stuck?

Why do I feel like I'm running in circles? And why are people keep going to the same health choices, to the same diets, to the same things, and get. Like back to square one. So all of that kind of threw me into nervous system work and it was just. I just really was led to this knowledge. I started reading and researching and then doing it on my own, and once I broke through, I thought, okay, just like when I had that fitness idea, like everybody has to know this.

This is actually the root cause. Once I understood how the brain. And nervous system work. I understood that. That's really the foundation. That's the real only reason why people actually feel stuck and feel like they can't move forward with wherever they are in life. Whether it's money, relationships, or health or you know, weight.

Right. And I actually want to pause right there. I forgot to mention, shout out to Jesse Hartnett. She's the reason I actually am collaborating with you right now. I was, uh. Or I had her as a guest on my show. Um, and I, you know, worked with her on promoting, uh, honor Your Heart, and she had introduced you to me.

And so, real quick, for those who don't know, Jesse Hartman, the whole thing that she does is quitting smoking, kind of creating what I call the AA of smoking. So, Ms. Vuca, what, what role, how did you end up on that podcast? You know, were you a smoker or addicted to smoking at all? Yes. Uh, in my, well, I'm gonna say teens, upper teens.

I, I grew up in Europe, so everybody smokes the air. And so in my teens, I started smoking, was totally peer pressure. And then when I moved to states, it continued and then it was cold Turkey, how I stopped smoking. So Jesse had it, uh, post somewhere looking for people who had kind of an unusual stopping to smoke story.

And mine was interesting because it was that. Actually now looking back, it was my first exposure to really making the decision and overriding the nervous system, except I didn't know that at the time. So I think I was about 18, between 18 and 20 when my best friend's dad died from lung cancer. And in one day I just decided that's it.

And I quit cold Turkey. And ever since then, it was such an emotional decision for me that. You know, people who quit smoking, they say, oh, you know, I still love the smell of it. No, I was just, I was disgusted by it. I was like a to totally on the other side. And that's what then led me to fitness and then never looking back to smoking.

Really. Wow. You know, you mentioned, I relate to you in the, in the, it sickens me sense, like when I, I have had family members and, and friends who have died from, from overdosing, from drug abuse, from alcohol abuse. And to me, I just don't understand how you could still like, and encourage and promote something like that.

And especially people who have been hospitalized for smoking, forage, drinking for all that stuff, like it is physically killing you. And, and some of them have experienced it to almost the full extent. And how can you still, you know, like obviously the addictive part, right? There's a lot of stuff. Yeah.

Emotionally. Right. I mean, I've covered addiction on the show many times. There are genetic factors, there are nurturing factors, family life, trauma. Yeah. But to me it's just like, I have never found it, uh, attractive. You know? And I was talking about, even as a kid, I've had people on my show who started drinking at 11 years old.

Yeah. When I was a kid, I never once saw alcohol. And I was like, Ooh, I, I wanna try that. I, you know, I need to try that. But, you know, everyone is different. And so I think it's. Interesting that we talk about the body is wired for survival and it's interesting that we can, our bodies can get addicted to something that is killing us.

It seems like the opposite of survival, but you get addicted point that you need it to live. So it's like, it's kind of this weird paradoxical thing in my opinion. It is, it is. And I'll explain what's going on. So it it, it took me a minute to understand that too. It's the same, the same way. I'm thinking like, what if we're supposed to survive?

Why will lead to addiction? First of all, let's just say we can get addicted. If, if people have a hard time with word addicted, think of a habit because. You know, somewhere you can read that habit is a little easier than addiction. And it's like, well, have you ever tried to break a habit? It's, it's the same thing, right?

So it's really just wiring in our brain as to leading us to addiction or a habit that we have done over and over again. So that's one thing is, you know, we get addicted to anything. We get addicted to our environment. We get addicted to our thoughts, we get addicted to our emotions. This is why you have people who are constantly happy and they can have.

Something negative happen in their life. They can get down for a minute, but they're gonna go back up to their happiness. Where you have people who are constantly worrying or constantly living in guilt, they may get happy for a second, but over time they get back down. It's the same with weight, right?

People gain weight, they lose it, and they're like. I hang in there for a week or two, maybe a few months, but then I gain it all back. So we see these cycles everywhere. And why does it happen? Going back to answer your question, so we try to put logic on our nervous system. Like, Hey, how does, how do we get addicted to something that's bad to us when it's when, when we're trying to survive?

Nervous system doesn't have logic, and for listeners, if you understand this, your life can transform drastically. What we try to do is we try to put logic on nervous system. Like of course I want to be successful. Of course I wanna make money. Of course, I wanna be in a happy relationship. That's logic.

Nervous system operates completely different. Differently. It's very primitive. So it's, think of it as like from the reptilian ages, right? So it only knows what it knows is safe. And what it doesn't know is unsafe. So familiar is smoking, drinking, solving problems through some form of addiction. Some people worry that's their addiction.

Um, you know, so we get familiarized with that behavior or those actions. So anything else is unfamiliar. So I know who I am when I drink, if I have a drinking problem, or if I drink all the time, or that's how I deal with emotions, because I've never been taught how to deal with emotions. So to my. Nervous system, not logic to my nervous system.

That's what's safe because I know how I act, think, and behave when I'm drunk, but I don't know what it feels like to be sober, therefore to our nervous system. It's actually unfamiliar, which is why it always brings us back. And you see this in relationships, right? Like how many of of us had had bad relationships that we repeated in the next relationship and we're like, why do I always attract this type of a person?

Because logically you want something different, but to your nervous system, it only knows, but it knows it got comfortable in that. Does that answer it for you? It does. It's just so crazy to say. Sobriety is unknown, unfamiliar, and scary to me. You know? Yeah. And, and it is, it's true. Especially for if you started drinking as a kid because you were like, Hey, when I drink, I become, you know, Mr.

Confident, Mr. Funny, or, or whatever it may be. Right? That's a lot of the cases. Um, right. It's like, I remember I had a gentleman on the show the other day, addicted for. Over 30 years. That's most of his life. And it was like he said, he was never who he was. He was always someone else. You know? So I get that.

And you actually brought up my, my talking point, which was him be relationships, because I've had guests on the show who were in, their parents were in abusive relationships, right? So that's what they saw, that's what they observed, that's what they. Thought was normal. They got into abusive relationships.

Yes. I remember I had a woman on the show the first time she was ever in a safe, healthy relationship made her like, throw up. It made her sick because, and, and she was like scared. Yes. I've even had that in my own life where it's like, uh, you know, working through that where peace becomes paranoia, where security becomes like something has to be wrong.

Um, where quietness becomes like deathly silent. It's so. Interesting. You know? Yes. And I, I had a gentleman on the show, he said his dad, when he got angry would just like rip furniture in half. He would go around smashing stuff and he thought everyone's dad did that. You know, it's like I had a woman and this, this one shocked me the most.

I had a woman on the show. Whose father never was physically affectionate with her. And so she saw a friend get a hug goodbye at school from her father or something, and she was like, what is that? Is there something weird are going on with you and your dad? She's like, your father doesn't hug you. He's never hugged you before.

And she was like, no. Is that a normal thing? Hearing stuff like that, it's like, wow, you only grow up knowing what you know, which sounds you know upfront, but that's true when you're not exposed to other kinds of environments. You get so familiarized with, especially if it's your child. I mean, like we've said on the show, children are sponges.

You know, we're just taking everything in. And so it's, it's definitely interesting. And so you said you had kind of a turning point, a waking up point after your journey of, of fitness. So I mean, tell us more about that moment where you were like, Hey, I, I'm in control. Here's what I need to do with my nervous system.

I mean, like, how do you discover that? Well, for me it was more than that. So in 2018, I sold my fitness studio after eight years and I moved to Europe, which is where I'm originally from. And talk about like what you're exposed to when you grow up. And I had a reverse culture shock, right? So when I moved to the US, my nervous system got used to the us.

That culture. I was there for 20 years and I moved back to where I'm from, which you're like, you're just moving home. I had a complete. Culture shock. And then there were some other things going on in my family and my dad, uh, had dementia, and that was starting becoming more and more obvious. I had my baby in the middle of that, so it was just.

A lot of things were falling apart. And I remember thinking like, how is all of this happening when I don't want drama, I don't like drama, and I just want to be happy. Right? Like one, again, once again, logic, like, I just wanna be happy. Right? And that's when I started again, working on me, meditating, doing all this work.

And that's when I started really researching on how the brain works. Because it's not just the meditations, it's not just the affirmation, it's not just the wishful thinking. It, it's a really a combination of all the things. And so when I look at my 6-year-old there, he's six now, and I'm always like.

There are certain things that I don't want to, I don't want to normalize in his nervous system because it all comes down to that. We always go back to, again, to what's familiar. So I'm setting up different standards for him and you know, time will tell if my little experiment is working out or not, but it's really what we're exposed to that becomes normal.

I started digging into my life and my past and my childhood and thinking about what worked there, what didn't work, what could have been my beliefs about my body, about health, about relationships, about money. And I started digging into that. Not in the, going through my memories, but more in the how does that relate to who I am today?

And then if you look at the whole world, it's really. 95, probably 99% of people, like if you look at, you know, statistically overweight families, their children are most likely to be overweight. Right. And it's not so much genetics. Genetics is like 5%. It's the habit. It's what we are exposed to. Mm-hmm. People who are wealthy, they kids generally tend to think of wealth in a different term.

The people who grew up in a poor environment, you have individuals here and there who really work to step out of that. But that's an outline. All right? Like that's not a normal behavior generally. So that's what it drew to me this whole work, because it was like, how does, like, this is so fascinating to me.

Why is it that I want something so bad, but I can't get it because my nervous system is working against me. And then it was a question of, well, how do I change that? Right? So what now? Right? Like what now? I know it, but what now? And then it was the matter of me creating the new identity within me. And then working with my nervous system to actually change that.

And really everything outta my and in my life changed, like e every aspect of my life changed to the better. And that's why I'm like, everybody needs to know about nervous system. For sure. And you know, you mentioned the culture shock and I spent some time in Japan, and I'll be going back there again. And that culture compared to the American US culture, very different.

And I could imagine if I was from Japan, America would be overwhelming for me in a sense of one, just the, the, the, the size of vast abundance. But the noise. So like for me it was weird going to Japan because you go into restaurants, they're very small. And they're like silent. Like you don't have, like in America, you go to restaurants, it's an experience.

You're talking, you're laughing, you're, you're loud. There's a lot of drunk people too oftentimes. But even just if you go to a family restaurant, everyone's talking. Everyone's having conversation there. It was a lot of like you're just stopping in getting your food, eating in between work or it was just a quiet culture.

There was a few places in like tourist areas that. We're a bit more loud, but most of the restaurants were small and quiet. I remember it was like eating away at me on the public transport, complete silence. Um, in most buildings it was just, it was a very quiet culture, and I can imagine going, so going from America to that wasn't as bad.

But if I was born and raised in Japan in that culture and I went to America, that would be like a overwhelming shock, you know? I think going from loud to quiet is easier than quiet to loud. But yes, I just read that because you mentioned going from. Europe to America and then back to Europe and, and so how long were you in America for?

20 years. Okay. Yeah. So that's like you completely got established there. Yeah. Oh yeah. And I moved when I was like 16 or 17, so like, and I was there by myself. So like I really created me and I'm like, so Americanized. So like moving back to Europe. And it was so interesting 'cause I was like, Ugh, I'm moving back home.

And it was just like. Uh, my nervous system was like in survival mode. 'cause I was like, I, I can't, I don't know how to deal with this. This is ridiculous. I don't know why I'm waiting in a line to go to a bank when I can do this in an app. You know? And it just, I started calculating everything in time.

'cause I was like, okay, that just took me two hours to get to the bank, get that stand in line, get that done, and come back. Wow. Where in the United States I would've done this on an app. I would've had two extra hours and I started calculating everything in time. And that was just, it was really hard at first.

It really was. And then, like I said, I had other things like my dad dealing with dementia and other things and you know, and then having my baby and dealing with that. And it was just like, I really, I, I think that that was what we call the rock bottom. I really think that, but I think that I needed to go through that to really.

Start paying attention to this work again, why is this working and why is not? And what is actually survival mode? 'cause we don't really think of stress as survival mode, but that's the same thing. I think we've normalized stress in our lives nowadays and it's, it's not normal. It's actually debilitating us and it's actually feeling us feel more stuck in our lives, I think.

And are you still in Europe right now? I am in Europe right now. We're still establishing where we're gonna be. We've been traveling quite a bit. We're looking for some land to settle in by now. So I have now my image created and my visualization as to, I have my land, I have my ranch, I have my fence, and then I can start traveling everywhere.

'cause I'm homeschooling my kid and we wanna do it as world schooling so that he has more exposure to different cultures. Right? So that, that's normalizing his nervous system. And so. You know, but, but we do wanna have a home base. So it's one of those we're, we're still like exploring as to where for sure the life is the best for us, I think.

Yeah. And you mentioned the normalization of stress and that's definitely something we've talked about a little bit on the show. In fact, in some places, in some aspects of American culture at least, is become almost a competition of who has more stress, you know? 'cause I did this in episode of Yes. Yeah, we were talking about the, you know, the American Olympics of who slept, you know, fewer hours, you know, especially in the military and with young men, you know, it was like a competition of, well, I slept four hours last night.

Oh, well I only slept two hours, you know? Right. Yeah. It's like a competition, and I think it's the same with stress. It's also became, yeah. Unfortunately it became at some point, and still is. Uh, I think the worst part of it is like, who can have more energy drinks? Who or who is relying on more cups of coffee or energy drinks?

And it, it, we normalized and almost praised those destructive habits of like, and I'm not here to villainize coffee or energy drinks, but if you're bragging, oh, I, I had eight today. Yeah, my, my kidneys should be shot, but I'm a champion. No, I don't think that's a good thing at all. I don't think that's impressive, but we've made it kind of, that we've kind of established that culture, unfortunately.

So what could you say about. You know, stress. What we should have and, and be doing with stress and, and kind of what's actually going on right now. Yeah. As, uh, this is probably the most important conversation for anyone to, to talk about stress and to start realizing that stress is not normal and you're absolutely right.

I think, again, living kind of all over the world now, the us one thing that I, I, I wish it was different is. Most people put their worthiness based on the work, right? So I am worthy based on how much work I'm doing and how hard I'm hustling, and that goes into exactly what you said. So I'm gonna hustle harder, harder than you, I'm gonna sleep less.

I'm gonna do all these things. And that's really what we don't realize is that's actually survival mode. So there's no difference between survival mode and stress. Chronic stress, high stress is survival mode. What happens is we are designed. Too chill. We're designed to enjoy 95% of our time and only have high stress when we are endangered.

So again, how humans lived for millions of years. That makes sense, right? If they were living in a tribe, it was safe. If they had to go out in the woods and fight off a bear, that was really stressful. Right? And so we are designed for really short-term stress and then go back down to regular, and you can see this in nature anywhere, zebras, uh, grazing on grass, there's a lion starting to attack them.

They run, they escape. And then back to grazing grass. Mm. They don't do like, oh my god guys, did you see that line? Like they don't go into it talking about it living, right? They just go back to like normalcy. So we're supposed to do the same thing, but again, because we've normalized stress, we don't really realize how damaging that is.

And again, back to childhood, if that was. Our normal, the body got addicted to high stress, body gets addicted to high heart cortisol, high adrenaline, and people get, do get burnt out. But again, it's just like you said in the culture, we were not gonna admit to a burnout till we're like in a hospital bed and even then we may have a laptop on our lap working right.

It's like one of those where we have to understand that being busy doesn't make us worthy. We're worthy for who we are. And that's the biggest change that people have to make is understand that they're worthy just by being here. We're beings, not doings. We don't have to be doing all the time. So for people who are hustling all the time and.

I'm, I was that, you know, we're, we have to be productive. We have to feel like we're always doing something worthy that's flight. So we have fight, flight, freeze of fa. So fight is where I spend most of my years, which was just say something like, I'm just waiting for you to say something so I can respond back and like, explode.

Right? Like, just cut me off on the road. Right. That that's the flight. That's the fight. Like high adrenaline. The flight or the flea is I'm running away from things, so I'm gonna stay busy. I'm gonna stay busy all the time. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. I getting up at five o'clock in the morning, I'm hitting the gym.

I'm doing all these things. And that's a tricky one because we feel productive. We feel good about doing something, but we're not actually doing things that are the most productive in our lives and we don't know how to sit. Still, because just like you mentioned earlier, the calmness, the stillness almost freaks us out because the nervous system is not used to that.

So that, and then we have freeze, which is, you know, I'm scrolling on the phone even though I know I should be doing all these things. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I know what I should do. I'm just not doing it. That's the freeze. And that can lead to complete shutdown when people feel completely numb and they're like, I just don't even care.

I don't even care about anything. And then there's the fa, which is, uh, people pleasing. I gotta say yes to everything. I'm gotta say yes to every project, every person who needs me because I, I need to feel important. So all of them are the high stress, the chronic stress, the. Fight or flight mode, the survival mode as we call it, and all of them start breaking down our bodies after a while because the body is not designed for that.

That's why we see so many health issues. That's why we see so many diseases. That's why we so see so much obesity. That's why we see all these issues is because people are not men to do that. When we have high adrenaline. We're supposed to fight or flight. So if there's a bear in front of me, I'm either gonna go fully on or fully run away, right?

Like, there's no in between. And a part of our brain actually shuts down and kind of goes to sleep. The creative, um, healing, the problem solving part of the brain, uh, digestion slows down. There's a lot of things that actually shut down so that we can use all the energy that we have to fight off or run away from perceived danger.

The problem is. We are not in the wild anymore and we're not really fighting bears. So when we have so much adrenaline, but it's the coworker, or it's my husband pissing me off, it's that energy that gets stuck in there. So it's kind of like driving a car fully on gas and fully on brake at the same time because gas is gotta fight or flight.

And the break is, I can't actually respond because I'm in a meeting and I have to act. Cool. And so the energy actually gets. Stored in our body, and that's what then portrays as diseases or conditions of all kinds of ways. So what can we do if we're in that situation to help release that energy to at least, if not get rid of all of it, at least minimize the damaging effects of it.

Yeah. So there has to be, like you said, there has to be a way out. This is why people who go to the gym, you'll hear them off and like, I had a horrible day. Just lemme go to the gym and I'll talk to you later. Like we, we are used to just like expanding that energy. So workouts are actually very effective.

Um, there are people who say like, things like, well you can, you know, hit a pillow or things like that, which is fine. When you have a pillow, but if you're somewhere where you can't, sometimes that can actually show up as hitting the wall or someone else. So finding a way to exert that energy through workouts, through running, through, uh, jumping again, even fighting a pillow, as long as that's not always the only option.

We have to get that energy out. And we all know that feeling when we're drained after having that high adrenaline situation, which is when the body's supposed to go in the recover mode, the digestion starts opening up. That part of our brain starts opening up. Things go back to normal. But if we don't have that happen, this is why things never go back to normal.

This is why people have digestion issues. This is why people have, um, you know, they can't really like. Solve a problem in the moment. And you know, I always say like in the history of humanity, nobody ever solved anything yelling to at each other in an argument. So we have to cool down, do breath work, for example, if we can't work out in the moment.

I'm doing breath work, EFT, tapping. There's a few other techniques that work really well. I love breath work because it's like I can breathe, I'm already breathing, so I can just change my breathing wherever I'm at. And that way I can, under my body, can learn to understand that I'm not under attack. I'm just feeling pissed off.

So, you know, putting the hand in the heart is a really good one. Just, you know, telling yourself I'm safe. Simple. And as ridiculous as that sound, it actually works because we're acknowledging we're we're doing things that we wouldn't do if a bear or a perceived danger was truly a danger in front of us.

So, breathing hand in the heart, deep breathing, repeating to ourselves, I'm safe, I'm not in danger. I'm safe. EFT tapping are the quick ways to, to do it. And then, of course, exert that energy through workout or running or something like that. For sure. And ladies and gentlemen, I do gotta share. I had Ms. Amy Ezz on the show, an EFT tapping coach, and she actually made the Soar tapping app so that anyone at home using their phone could easily explore EFT tapping.

But I wanna say, Ms. Zuko, I know you have the um. I saw you currently have a three day challenge and it's basically to do what you're saying, which is actually calm down and rest and enjoy the calm. So could you tell us a bit about your three day challenge? Sure. Um, I'm gonna, I'm planning on running it regularly, so wherever people are listening to this, just go on my website and check out what we have.

The three A challenge is designed for that so that people actually first understand what we just talked about, like what is this logic or no logic with memory system and why I can't get through and understand the techniques that they can use and try different techniques that work for them. We're also going to meditation so that people can start connecting with their bodies because when we're in survival.

We're focused on the outside, on the bear, again, on, on the outside. When we start connecting with our bodies, we start giving the signal to our body. We're not in danger. We're safe. It is safe for me to, you know, grow my business, change a relationship, uh, lose weight, whatever it is. Um, so we go through that and then I have a few guests that are coming up to help, uh, create like an AI vision board and how to dress differently.

Because in all of this work, what we're really doing is we're. Stepping away from who we were, and we are creating the new identity of who we want to become. And then it's again, helping them understand that in the challenge on how and why that's necessary to do. And then the process, like helping people understand that there's gonna be a lot of back and forth because of your nervous system, because you constantly have to show it that it's safe in the new identity.

But that's really truly how, the only way on how we shift and, and, and get results. Stick with those results, so it's not like I'm gonna lose weight and then gonna gain again. The goal is to drop the body fat and never gain again. The goal is to break the glass ceiling on the earning, on the money, and then well, we'll have to do it.

That that one, that one has to be done frequently at some point, right? Because the nervous system is always getting ready for the new numbers. Unless that's, again, normalized for us. And then the same in relationships. So it really doesn't matter which category someone's trying to break through, if anybody's feeling stuck.

Three day challenge is a really great way to get introduced to this and understand what's going on in the body. Right. And additionally, you also do private one-on-one mentorship. You have group mentorship and self-paced courses. Could you tell us a little bit about everything that you do nowadays? Yeah.

So, um, it's all, again, like it started with coaching and I. Loved the changes that people were making. And I thought, all right, how do I make this accessible to more people? So that's where group coaching got created. And then we did a seven day intensive, which was amazing. Like the, the instant change in identity was just amazing.

So I created that as an offer as well for people who just want like a quick shift. We do intense work for two weeks and then we kind of follow up on that. They have to be ready for that shift in the identity, which is really powerful work. Um, and then, yeah, I do the three day challenges for people to introduce, and I am, I have a course right now as well for people who are like, Hmm, I still wanna work with you, but I wanna find out more about it.

I have a course that goes deeper into this work because. I, I, I truly believe this is the most important work that we can do because this is why we feel stuck. This is why we feel burnt out. This is why we have random shootings around the US because people are not regulating their nervous system. And when we don't, we feel that everyone else who doesn't agree with us is against us, and we kind of need to really, really need to change that, right?

Like we have to be able to say. Well, you know, let's agree to disagree, right? Like, I used to love that statement when I first moved to the us. I heard that statement. I was like, this is genius. Like, we can agree to disagree. We can't. We have to go back to normalizing the, the parasympathetic activation of the nervous system, which is the calm one.

In order for us to be able to be kinder, to have more sympathy to, to make this world a better place really. I completely agree, right? You're talking about the big global squeal and to, to scale it down, if you and your partner in a marriage are both constantly stressed, you're both, uh, you know, in that fight or flight mode, you're gonna end up taking it out on each other, right?

Because you're gonna end up snapping, you're gonna end up projecting feelings and frustrations from other things. You're gonna end up either victimizing yourself or, or blaming your partner, right? So then you. Take that to the global scale. And this was something we talked about in the military actually was the captain said he felt responsible because the more difficult our life was in the military and at work, the more likely we were to take it home and outside of the military and out on others.

Right. So when you talk about on that global scale, if everyone is, I mean, especially you talk about debating politics is already such a. Combative, stressful environment, and if everyone's already showing up already pre-stressed and in fight or flight mode from everything else in their life, it's definitely, you know, just, just a, uh, uh, assembly line contraption for disaster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we see it. Yeah, well, I mean, we're seeing it all the time and, and in all kinds of different events, it's coming out in all kinds of horrific ways. Yeah. And, and one thing we haven't really touched upon that I, I do really wanna talk about quick is what can you say about social media and the effect on nervous system regulation?

That's something I've touched upon a couple different times, and it's something that's continually being studied, being looked at, and, um. Overall pretty negative in my opinion. There again, there's a lot of potential for good, right? But a lot of people are abusing it or using it in the wrong ways. I was just curious what your opinion and observations were on that.

Absolutely. So you, you nailed it. Um, you know, any, anything in our life can be used for good or bad. Uh, social media is a little more dangerous because. Their goal is to keep us on the app, right? Yeah. So they have a team of behavioral scientists whose job is to figure out how to keep us longer on the app.

They are highly, highly, highly addictive. And so when I tell people, well limit your time. It's hard because you're like, all right, I'm gonna go 10 minutes, and then three hours later you're like, why am I still on this app? Because you are not going to win against a team of behavioral scientists who are behind the app.

So, um, my solution is, uh, using apps that block. The apps that are taking our time. So understand which one is your danger one, understand it's really not doing anything good for you. Uh, social media is also tricky because it's unpredictable to what I'm going to see. So even if I'm in a good mood, I can see something really bad and it just like lowers my energy right away and my, um, emotions just go to worry and all of that.

And so limit your time on social media. Download app or even multiple apps that are going to limit your time on it. Um, and you have to constantly be on top of it. Like, I preach this and I, therefore I know the. How highly addicted they can get. So I have, I have a few, um, well, I have a few that I use and I have apps that lock it and the moment it locks, there's no way to unlock it.

And I'm like, all right, lemme just, you know, snap out of this and go do this. Another danger of social media is just like a tv. You know, we, we've heard, all heard this television is television. They program you the same way social media does. Even with television and social media, the danger is we start relaxing our body and we go into so-called theta brainwave state, alpha and theta, which is the most.

The interesting one because that's the most dangerous one when it comes to getting the subliminal messaging in into our mind. Wow. It can be used for good. So I can go into theta through a meditation, start visualizing what I want, get myself positive informations, and that's going into my subconscious.

But it's just as easy to do it on social media and in front of a tv. So I always tell people, you have to be aware of that. Don't, don't leave the TV on if you're doing something else. You don't know what's running on. Um, you know, observe yourself. If we start observing ourselves as the most important V-I-P-M-V-P, we really are our own MVPs, and we start treating ourselves with the most respect, we will automatically set a timer on that and say, you know what?

I can't win this against the app, but I'm going to lock it in a way that it can't even be unlocked, and I'm gonna go and, you know, live my life because I, I ca I never suggest people to say, well, don't go on it because it's not realistic. Right. I have quite a few clients that. A late night scrolling issue, right?

Like they, it's the only time that a mom has time or a dad, right? Like it's the only time they have time for themselves and they go on social media. So my suggestion always is don't just stop it 'cause you're addicted to it, right? You need that dopamine hit, but lower the time. So if you spend an hour in it, go to half hour and unlock it, then in a week or so go to 15 minutes.

And then if 15 minutes is what you're good with, then stay there. But start substituting with healthy, good habits because it can really, really, really destroy our nervous system with a dopamine need. Dopamine hits. I agree a hundred percent. And one of the issues with, unfortunately, people are so prideful, right?

So a lot of people are gonna say, I don't need an app to lock me out. I have self-control. It is the same thing we see with alcohol and drugs. People say, I'm not addicted, I could quit any anytime. And you know, I'm choosing to do this. And it's, uh, people don't realize, and I especially, to me, it almost feels unethical to have a group of behavioral scientists.

Um, working again, real children, to be honest. Yep. Yes. The app says you have to be 16 or 18 to use it. Right. But we all know that children are all on these apps and it almost seems wrong preying on children, but, you know, that's the whole conversation on its own. And it, it's, it is truly unfortunate And, um.

Like you said, the, the subliminal messaging, I like the, uh, tell a vision that's, I really like that saying right there. I'm, I'm gonna use that one in the future because it, it is, and you know, I've done a lot of episodes talking about like this pre-programmed, like just based off the gender and age you put in.

The feed you get originally is already set up a certain way, geared towards that based on that information. And then once you start, you know, kind of. Liking stuff and building the algorithm. It, I mean, it's programmed to continuously feed you what you like and, and, you know Yeah. Capture you. So it's definitely, yeah.

Um, it's a shame, in my opinion. It's a shame and I, I, I am glad that people are helping make ways to, to block the apps, to help people regulate that. 'cause I think it's important and I think it's okay to say, Hey, I, I need help doing this. You know? Yeah. I don't think there should be any shame around it, but.

Unfortunately that's, that's how it, how it is. And so I encourage anyone listening if. You have been withholding yourself from getting those kinds of apps because of, of shade? No. Like it is designed, especially if you're on the younger side and you've grow, like we've see children are growing up with, with tablets and phones as young as two years old, you know, sometimes.

Yeah. So I mean, we, we talked earlier in the episode about how what we do and observe and use as children plays a huge role in our, our adulthood. Ties into social media as well. A hundred percent. And so this, again, we talked about some of the stuff on your website. We're gonna have that in a description below.

Just who should really work with you? Who should reach out to you and why should they do so? Well, anybody who feels stuck, like if they listen to this and like, oh my God, this is starting to make sense as to why I am feeling stuck. Um, you know, reach out. You know, I, again, I have free things. I have lower paid and higher paid programs because I really think that this work is so important for anyone.

Who has been doing the same thing over and over again and not achieving results because I understand the frustration of it. I understand it in relationships, I understand it money-wise. I understand it. Um, body-wise, I've been through all of these issues and I think that it was a blessing because it helps me understand people now as to why they feel stuck.

Um, it's just the biggest understanding is that. The nervous system doesn't have logic. So anybody who is feeling stuck in, in really any area of their lives and they don't know why, um, I even have a one hour call where, where I ask them different questions in different areas of their lives, and after a call, they get so clear on exactly where they're stuck and why.

And then it's on them as to where to go from there. But it's usually not where they think they're stuck. Right. So ladies and gentlemen, I encourage you to check out the website again, there's a lot of free resources there, more information, and if you wanna take that step further and work one-on-one in a group setting or do one of those higher challenges that's there for you to check out.

But I really encourage everyone to think about their life and, and. If, again, reflect on what we said today. See if it's applying to your life. 'cause a lot of times we don't realize, um, what's been normalized in our life, what we have unintentionally, uh, made as a, a safe place and not a safe place. And by we, it's not even our fault all the time.

Like we said, there is stuff from childhood, from the environment you're in. As we talked about with, with Europe and Japan, maybe it's a cultural influence. Maybe it's a social media influence. So take a step back, look at all the influences in your life, what's been normalized, what's been, you know, deemed dangerous and safe, and just kind of reanalyze it.

Is everything set up how you want it to be set up or the way it just has been set up? And if it's not how you want it, what can you do to change that today? But Ms. Luca, so great to have you here and I appreciate you coming on the show and sharing everything that you did, and again, I just appreciate it.

Like you said, it's important work. I think so many people are just people who have never had these conversations like you and I have had who have just. Been living their life. You know, they don't realize all that's going on and all the change that they can make. And I encourage everyone too, to think about like, have you been living in a constant state of stress and you just didn't know it?

And I encourage everyone, especially to do that free three day challenge of calm. Try to actually be calm and see how you feel. And if you feel sick and paranoid, then maybe you've been living in stress for way too long. Yeah, maybe that was your normal and it's time to change it because I think we're here to enjoy this beautiful life that we've been given.

Right. So thank you again for coming on the show today, and I really hope that everyone listening will check out your, your website and your resources and hopefully have a conversation with you. Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure.