Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes: Humor, Military Stories, And Life Lessons

Today, I sit down with Andy Dietrich, a Marine Corps veteran, IT professional, and author of Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes—a book full of life lessons, absurd stories, and comedic reflections. We kick off the episode talking about the role of humor in both mental health and military life. From non-jokes and dad-jokes to the dark humor that gets you through deployment, we dive into how laughter can truly be medicine.

Mr. Dietrich walks us through his unlikely journey—from Berlin to Alaska to the Vegas Strip—and how he found his footing both in and out of uniform. We swap wild boot camp stories, discuss the weirdness of military traditions, and reminisce on what it’s like to work with other veterans in the civilian world. From saluting squirrels to hygiene inspections gone wrong, this episode is full of raw, hilarious moments that anyone with a military background (or sense of humor) will relate to.

But it’s not just about laughs. We also talk about personal growth, social awkwardness, and taking bold steps outside of your comfort zone. Mr. Dietrich shares the motivation behind his book, the value of storytelling, and why sometimes life’s greatest adventures come from saying yes to the random wine shop around the corner.

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Transcript

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and I am actually gonna start today off with a quote from the book of Proverbs 17, 20 22 22. If I can speak a cheerful heart. It's good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. And I love that quote because it is so true.

You know, they say laughter is the best medicine, you know, and there's even scientific studies about it. But even just, uh, joking with your friends and family and, uh, it can really cheer up your day. And I, I think it's important to laugh every day. It really is important. And I say that and bring that up because we're gonna be talking about humor today.

We're gonna be talking about. The importance of it. Rolling with it. We're gonna talk about, you know, social interactions and we're gonna get into some military mental health as well. We're here with Mr. Andy Dietrich and we're gonna ho hopefully, uh, well in a minute here, we're gonna get into some good stuff.

So, Mr. Dietrich, I'd love for you to introduce yourself for us please. Sure. Mr. Whiskey, thank you for the introduction. Thanks for having me. Uh, real quick, I'll give you the, uh, elevator pitch of, of who I am. I was born in Berlin, Germany, uh, lived in Germany until I was about 14. Then my mom and I decided to move to Alaska.

There's a story behind that as well. Um, lived in Fairbanks, uh, for about five years until then. I joined up myself, became enlisted. I was stationed down in Southern California from 2000 till 2004. And, uh, once I got out, I decided to move to Las Vegas, and I've been here ever since. Um, a little while ago I wrote a book called, plays to Be Games, wins Super Prizes that I'm very proud of.

Um, and maybe we'll touch on that later in the talk as well, but that's the gist of it. I'm a geek at heart. I nerd out on things. Um. I have hobbies besides my IT career that keep me entertained and out of trouble for the most part. So yeah, let's have a good talk. Yeah. For those of you listening, not watching, there is a bunch of Legos, star Wars stuff in the background it looks like.

Uh, so I think that kind of, uh, backs you up with everything you're saying. And, uh, I, I had a, I had a boss, not my direct boss, but I had a manager once, uh, at work. He saw them. He goes, oh, I'm like your spaceships. I'm like. Base ships. That's an and sold. Come on. It's Star Wars memorabilia. They're Lego sets.

They're not spaceships. Get outta here. It's the Death Star. Yeah, yeah. I get you called by the proper name. That's right. Yeah, I get that. But I was gonna ask, you know, um, I. I, I, I hate to put you on the spot, but you know, go ahead. I, I hyped you up as, as humor and, and comedy and all that. So did you bring a joke for us today or a are you able to make one on the spot?

Hopefully so. I mean, usually like when you ask someone on the spot, like, you know, be funny, it's like the worst time to want to, 'cause then you have to perform, you have to think of something really, really clever. Yeah. But I will share with you. Usually I have like a really corny dad joke. Untapped. I usually cycle them like once a week.

Right. 'cause it's a good conversation starter. Hey, do you wanna hear an awful dad joke? Sure. So the other day, I heard one ago, something like this. It says, um, um, uh, I'm starting to heavily invest in stocks. Beef, chicken, vegetables. One day I hope to become a billionaire. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I actually keep a couple of jokes under my hat at all times.

So, written down or literally in, in your head. 'cause you, you can, you could just take your hat off, you know, read the, read the punchline, put your hat back on. People are like, wow. How you remember that? I'm actually bald and I have the jokes written on my head, so I just pull it down and have people read it.

Um, that's funny. Now the one, the first one that always comes to mind. I don't know why it's, it's just such a simple one. I heard at Pod Fest it was two blondes walk into a building. You think one of them would've seen it. And it's that stupid, that simple. So stupid. It's so stupid, but it always works. And so I always keep that one on tap.

Or like you said, dad jokes. Um, I've always got a military story or mm-hmm. Um, Joel Osteen, he's a motivational speaker, faith-based, and, uh, he starts every sermon off with, uh, like a faith-based, a Christian joke. So have a couple of those on standby as well. So it's always good to have. Um, and then, uh, whatever the one you said, I'm going to add that to my, yeah, see there's room in here for that.

But, uh, have you ever heard of non jokes? Of non jokes? Non jokes? I'll share two with you. Two of my favorites. Okay. Okay. A man walks into a bar, his crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart. That's the first non joke. The other non, the other non joke is, did you know that Dracula drives a civic, a Honda Civic?

Yes. It's appropriately priced and it gets good. It gets good gas mileage. There. This, this is like, um, in the, in the newest Joker movie, not Joker two, but the first Joker movie. He's like, knock, knock, who's there? Police officer. Your son's been killed by a drunk driver. They're like, that's not funny. That's not funny.

We don't do those kinds of jokes here. That's that's a along the same one kinda like that. Yep. Like the non jokes, like there's no punchline. It's just not, it's not funny. Yeah. The guy's, the guy's alcoholism is tearing his family apart. That's not funny. He's walking into a bar. Yeah. I need, um. Actually, I wish I had bought it.

I could have worn it for today. So I saw a shirt in Myrtle Beach when I was shopping and it says this is not a drill and it's a picture of a hammer and I really want that shirt. That would've been perfect for today. So stupid. I love it. I love it too. If you get one, buy me one too. 'cause I would wear that all day.

I got you. Maybe I should make, um, some. Some couple of nukes, uh, you know, like dad joke shirts that, some merch. I'm adding that under here as well on my tv. This, there you go. I like it. I'll be your first customer. Done. Yeah. Yeah. Some podcast dad jokes. I got it. And, um, I already missed Father's Day. That would've been perfect to do a whole episode of highlighting Best Dad jokes.

Well, we'll do it some other time and just say, well, my, my intro will be Dad should be celebrated year round. So we're celebrating Father's Day today. There you go. Don't need an excuse to celebrate your parents. Right. Just celebrate them. Whatever it feels like. Whatever. It feels good. Yeah. And then, um, what I want to pivot into is you mentioned, uh, being a veteran serving mm-hmm.

You know, in the military. And I'd love to ask, what was your opinion on, at least where you were stationed in the lines of comedy and humor? A lot of people associate the military with dark humor, with very Cory morbid humor, with, uh, morbid curiosity. Was that your personal experience? Did a lot of people you were stationed with joke that way.

Were you, uh, initiator an instigator of that as well? And why do you think that is? Yeah, I agree with the, I agree with that statement. I think there is, dark humor is definitely very, very prevalent in the, in the military. Um, I think it's just a coping mechanism. I think it's a way of bonding with other people.

I think that, you know, when you suffer together and it's, it's like the, the motto, right? Like, who can suffer the most? Gets the biggest, gets the award, right? It's almost like a, like the suffering competition, like a suffering Olympics. Whoever can suffer the most gets their, their, you know, gets their back padded right by everybody else.

Um, I think when you're together, suffering together, dark humor gets you through it. It bonds you together. And it's just a way to, to make it a little bit easier. And I think if you can laugh, if you can laugh at silly things now, it's one thing to be inappropriate and just bros and grotesque, right? Yeah.

Usually that's not funny. But there, there's some cleverness to it, some width to it, right? Some sarcasm, some cynicism. That, in my opinion is like the, the, the crowning of, of any kind of comedy. If you can lay sar, sarcasm, dark humor into like a dry punchline, love it. I can talk to, I can talk that all day.

Yeah, for sure. You know, I know I had a episode with Scott Dio and we were talking about military mental health and uh, dark humor. And he was talking about when, um, I believe it was him and the boys were deployed. They were, you know, out there and they were like, watch your step 'cause. You know, and, um, there's, I know we were talking about how a lot of civilians or people might not find that funny, and I said, mm-hmm.

Shoot, if it was me and the guys I served with, uh, we could have stepped on one of those and we would've walked up to the person and been like, we told you to watch your step man. You know, like, you know, we've, we've had that. I, I remember we used to, I told you. Yeah. Um, I talked to Scott too actually a little while ago, a few months back.

He's a great guy, so if you haven't checked him out yet to your listeners, please go check him out. He's a solid dude. Legit, you know, he's there for the veterans. He does a lot of good work. So, yeah, I call him, uh, MR 500. He just hit 500 episodes, so I, that's amazing. I emailed him. I was like, Mr. 500, how's it going, you know?

Uh, and hopefully one day I can be Mr. 500. Two, not five hundred and two, five hundred two. Also with two eyes, Mr. Mr 500 also. There you go, Mr. 500 as well. Yeah, there you go. And um, yeah, I was gonna say, you know, my friends and I used to all the time in a service say we'd be walking across the hangar bay. I hope a steel girder beam doesn't fall in my head today.

Um, and all that stuff, it, it's funny the things we do, I know. Uh, actually at the nuke base, uh, where, where we were operating and learning, they had made a new rule, a new military conduct. You were not allowed to salute the wildlife. 'cause a lot of it would be saluting the squirrels. Like I don't know why I find That's so funny.

That's hilarious. I know. It was, it was for morale and then, um, people got in trouble for it 'cause they kept diluting squirrels and squirrels are enlisted. They're not officers. So that's, I can't, we, we had a, um, we had a captain. Uh, at our unit, and he was a short Hispanic, he was a short stature Hispanic origin.

Um, they called him behind his back. They called him Captain Paragraph because he wasn't tall enough to be an essay.

That's good. That's good. That's good. Well, I was gonna say, you know, you can only salute the flying squirrels because, you know, only 'cause they're officer, they're flying. But the regular squirrels, you know, on the ground, those are enlisted grunts, you know, don't salute them. Um, and, and don't salute the flying ones during times of war, you know, and we, we don't want, don't wanna go away their position.

My God. Love it. Yeah. Actually, what was funny that wasn't meant to be a joke was I walked into the one building at Nuke school and it says, um, please stop flushing anime figurines down the drain would keep damaging the plumbing. It was just a big sign that's like, stop doing this. Like, who did this? Which one of you idiots caused this to happen?

Um, one team, one fight. Your, your, your story reminded me of we had a, uh, master guns, uh, master gunnery sergeant at our unit as well, and he was well respected. He wasn't, I mean, he was older than some of us has have been in the service. Sorry. He's, he's been in the service longer than some of us have been alive, right?

Just one of those old, salty, but still very approachable, uh, you know, seniors, senior staff, NCOs, and, uh, and he would have a habit to, of, of standing in front of the battalion building, smoking his cigars right next to the no smoking sign. One time this, this second lieutenant walked up into the building and, you know, master Garney sergeant out there without his cover on smoking his cigar.

And Lieutenant Lieutenant walks by and he goes. Good afternoon, master guns. He goes, good afternoon, sir. And he says, well, master guns. Don't I get a salute? Had I been there, I think we all would've ducked out. Be like, Nope, that was the wrong thing to say, sir. Anyway, so master guns replies, why don't you climb up these rockers and get one?

Uh, so for those, for those listeners that don't know right, the insignia of, of the rank, right? The rockers indicate that you've been in, in for at least a number of years, and each additional rocker means that you've been promoted since then. So four rockers or three rockers means you've probably been in for at least 10 years.

Yeah, it's like the, uh, navy higher ups in their black suits. They got the gold stripes and they've just got gold stripes, you know, for days. Mm-hmm. I remember one of the, yeah, you know, sometimes officers, um, some of them are so entitled for no reason. They be silly officers. Be silly sometimes. Right. Yeah, that's a good way to say it.

Uh, a ship mate of mine was on the phone on the Fanta. So for those of you dunno, he's on the back end of the ship. It's outside, and he is on the phone making a phone call after hours. And, uh, this officer walks out and my, my, my shipmate sees him, but he's on the phone. So he's facing the water on the phone.

Officer walks up to him into his face. He's like, you're not gonna salute me. Oh my God. Like literally he's on the phone, my facing away gets up in his face. He's like, where's my salute? My God. School, like, jump down. Let me get it for you, sir. It's down there. Lemme grabbing for you one minute. Like, come on.

Yeah. And uh, at nuke school was the opposite because what would happen is, um, because of the security to get into the nuke school, you know, the line after lunch would be, you know, several, several, several people along. Sure. And so all the officers are, are in line. Coming back from their lunch, and then all the enlist are going out for their lunch.

Mm-hmm. And you would have these guys who are like, good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. I can see it. I can can see it. Every single person saluting. And the officers are like, good on, oh my God. Good morning. Uh, you know, just they're tired of it. They were, they're like, you don't have to salute us. We're standing on Sir.

Sir, please. That's right. That's right. You burned this, sir. You know? And, um. We had one guy who insisted that it was, you know, authorized to say aloha. At least in Hawaii. We were in South Carolina. But he'd be like, Aloha, sir. My God. And it's like 2:00 AM in the morning. And then, and the, the, the officers used to try to walk away.

They used to like, they would see us coming and they would try to pivot. Sure. I actually saw a funny meme about this on, on Instagram where this army guy saw an officer coming his way and he decided to just pick up a rock on the side of the road and carry it so he didn't have to salute the, uh, officer.

That's hilarious. That's great. I love that. I was like, you put that, that rock down and salute me. He's like, I can't, I'm, I'm in a rush. I gotta get this to my, you know, my LPO right now, you know? That's great. Yeah. But it reminds me, let's. Sorry, one more. Uh, you reminded me of a story that the same master guns pulled on these officers and he used, he used to love, you know, messing with these young officers.

So we were at a school's battalion, so you always have students running around doing student things. So at one point he sees this, these two officers or these two second lieutenants talking in front of the battalion building. So then master guns sees this, he goes around the back grabs, uh, like 20 students.

He goes, you 20 come with me. And these students aren't gonna say no, he, they, they're all E one Z twos. Yeah. And master gunnery sergeant comes up and says, you with me And no questions will be asked. Right. So he gets them ready and parked right around the corner of the building on the outside, and he says, all right, you're going to walk around the corner, salute the two officers, then come around the other side and run back to the end of the line.

Go. You'll wait five seconds. Okay? Now you're gonna go around the corner, salute those two officers, and when you get back to around, uh, around the other corner, you're gonna run back to the end of the line. Go. And you just repeated this, right? So you have this, like, this, this big long chain of just these students every five seconds coming up like, good morning, sir.

Good morning, sir. Good morning, gentlemen. At one there, I guess they, they just packed their, the, the officers I guess finally just packed their stuff and, and went inside just to get away from it. Same energy. Yeah, I remember we had this one, uh, instructor. He's like, everyone, I'm really awkward. I can't talk to people at all.

And so whenever the officers salute me, I always say the same line. How you doing, sir? Or something like that. He goes, well, one time the officer said, at first he goes, how you doing ship me? And he goes, I didn't know what to say. So I just yelled, you're doing good, sir. It's like, and the whole way home was like, my god, stupid.

That was so stupid. Why did I say that? Hey, you know what? Of all the things that we could have blurred out, that we have blurred out. That's pretty, pretty low key, pretty, uh, you know, low impact. That's funny as hell though. Yeah. I remember actually in bootcamp, you know, I didn't, I didn't know anything about ranking recognition.

It is bootcamp, right? It's like the first week and I see a chaplain walking down. He is got the big bar on his chest and everything. And so, uh, I. I no cover. We're inside. I just saw him. I'm like, good morning, sir. And he is like, you know, I, with without the cover, you know, you're in basic training. First week you gotta come on, you get a pass.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, you don't have to do all that, you know? That's good. Um, but I wanted to ask just to get a little more backstory on you. Um, what branch you joined, why you joined, and what you were doing while you were in. Sure. So I was, um, so leading up to me joining, I was, uh, living with roommate again.

This was the time in, in Alaska and Fairbanks. Um, and I got a phone call one day and it was Sergeant so-and-so United States Marine Corps, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? And he ran off of the, he asked me a bunch of, uh, questions. You know, what are you doing right now work wise? Do you want to go to school?

Kinda like the whole, like kind of seeing if I would be a good candidate. And I was very not interested in the military, in the government. You know, it was very, my views were a lot different back then. Uh, so I told him, Hey, you know, appreciate the call. Not interested. Thanks. Bye. Click. I. So five months later calls me back up again.

He got promoted. Now he's staff sergeant, staff sergeant, so and so, United States Marine Corps, blah, blah, blah. And he, and he listed off the exact, I remember this, he asked the exact same questions that he did six months, five months prior. And, uh, I told him, look, man, you called me five months ago. I, I'm still not interested.

And he said, well, I about you. Come down here, I buy you a cup of coffee, we can talk and then we'll go from there. So I figured, hey man, I got nothing to lose. Go down there, get a free cup of coffee. I tell him no to his face. He'll take me off of whatever call roster he has me on. Um, I go down there and, um, he didn't, he didn't coerce, he didn't coerce me.

He didn't bamboozle me. Like he just laid it all out. And he did a really good job selling it to me. And, uh, I was realizing that my lease was about to expire. My job was about to lay me off for the, for the summer season. So. Yeah, it was a good time. It was a good time to go. So I left about a month later.

Right, so it was pretty quick, right? Signed on the dotted line. Month later off I go and uh, I was, okay, so I took the As app did really well on it, and the recruiter told me, you can do pretty much any job that you want. I'm like, cool. Then I told him that I wasn't a citizen. And he goes, oh, about that. He goes, all those jobs that you, that you could have done, now you can only do these six jobs.

I'm like, great. And they all sucked. It was like, I'm not saying they were bad jobs, people have to do them, but just from my, when I looked at them, they, none sounded appealing at all. So I, I went with a one that, that seemed to me the, the, the one I could use the most in the civilian world when I get out.

So I sign up for administration, paperwork, office work, that kind of stuff. Mm-hmm. However. Uh, the unit I was, uh, attached to, they didn't have any, uh, they didn't rate any guys to, to work in the S six shop in the computer shop. So when I started talking to the staff sergeant, I was down there and I told him, Hey, I got some computer skills.

I've taken computers apart since I was a teenager, right? He goes, oh, crap. Well here's a young, you know, E two that just joined the battalion, or maybe not joined, but he's been here for a short amount of time. Uh, who's got computer skills? I'm gonna, so he ended up talking to the colonel, the battalion colonel.

And, uh, got a special order signed for me to work down in the S six shop. Now my MOS didn't change, but my, what they call my primary job, whatever, whatever that got changed, uh, like I said, about six months into my enlistment and to where I was just working in the computer shop. So I got the best of both worlds in my opinion.

I. Yeah, that's, that's interesting. I, it's funny you got the phone call again. So when I was in the Navy, I got a phone call from a guy. He is like, uh, you know, Mr. Whiskey, your name across, came across my, uh, paperwork on my desk here in New York. And, uh, I'm giving you a phone call, see if you're interested in joining us Navy.

I'm like. I'm on CVN 73 USS, George Washington right now in Newport News, like, it super sucks. It's like, whatcha talking about? Can you get me outta here? Yeah. I was like, Hey, can you, can you transfer me somewhere? That's fine. You know, they, um, they had this thing called a dream sheet. I think they told me about it when I was joining.

And then, um. You fill it out and then it just gets thrown into the wind. Um, the dream sheet as to where you wanna be stationed, right? Like where you wanna Yeah, the dream sheet. That's all bs. Oh yeah. There was no, no, it's all bs. We had, um, there was a guy. Uh, in my classroom. And he was a submariner, you know, he asked, well, why do you wanna be on a submarine?

He goes, I don't. He goes, my recruiter said if I volunteered for submarine duty, I was guaranteed, uh, electronics technician. And he was an electric, uh, electrician, make nuclear with me. So I was say, not. And, uh, yeah, he got bamboozled butt. Yeah, bamboozled. They said. We have too many people on submarines.

You've been moved to aircraft carrier, and I tell you the joy, the absolute joy he had, that's great. Um, usually it's the opposite. Usually they, they say, um, we don't have enough people. And, um, actually you're gonna be on submarine duty for an extra two years, you know? Um, so yeah. But, um, how long were you in total?

Uh, four years. I did my four active and then four inactive. Okay. Yeah. So why did you choose to get out? So look, I never regretted joining up, but I was glad to get out when I did. This is right in between 2000, 2004, so the war was still fresh on everyone's mind. Um, that didn't influence my decision making too much, but I was just tired of being, you know, a young non NCO getting yelled at, you know, cleaning a lot of stuff.

Now, maybe it would've gotten better once you get up in the ranks, right? Usually it does, but I was just tired of it. I had a, um, I had an opportunity to move to Vegas. I was dating someone. I just. I just didn't wanna be in anymore. I want to live civilian life. I want to just not care, you know? Yeah. No, I, I totally get that.

And, uh, I, I do get that. I was thinking actually about, uh, I, I actually, I think I shared it to my Instagram story the other day. It was some quote from some movie and said how military life is, and it was a guy saying, we, the unwilling we're led by the unknowing to do the impossible with nothing. Now we can do anything with nothing.

And it's like, yeah, that's great. I, I get the, um. I had a whole episode the other day with Christopher Brewer about, um, fast movers, the ranking system, the reality of ranking up in the military, the reality of the lifestyle. Yeah. And uh, it's definitely, um, an acquired taste for sure, to say. What would you say was the best thing you took away from it?

At least. If anything. No, there was, there was a lot, a lot of like personal development, right. Professional development. You, you figure things out pretty quickly, right? You have to, um, I, I think a good chunk of my work ethic came from it. Me being German, I think some of it was already, you know, in, in my genes, right.

Um, but I. I like to think that for the most part, most veterans, I can't say all of 'em 'cause I work with some pretty questionable ones. But for the most part, most veterans that I've worked with, uh, no matter what their rank is at work, like at the work that we do together, um, if I go up to a veteran, whether it be higher or lower on my ranking structure, um, I could be.

An administrator, he could be a director and I can be like, Hey, I need you to hunker down and get this figured out and then work on this. For the most part, most veterans are okay with taking orders from other veterans no matter what the, what the title is. Um, um, I do appreciate that about, you know, my experience with having worked with veterans.

So anyway, that's one of 'em. Um, like I said earlier, the personal growth development, work ethic, um, I dunno. I think, and also just, it's just. It's good to say you're a veteran. You know, it's, it's awesome to say you're a Marine. So it's, you know, those little things that came with it as well. GI Bill, of course.

Right. All those little, uh, checkbox things, right. But overall sense of accomplishment, right? It's just, it's a good family to be, to be part of. Yeah, I agree with the, uh, the veterans and work ethic. Again, not all of them, but most veterans I've worked with, uh, they're some of the best people to work with because we've worked worse conditions for less pay, you know, and so it's pretty simple.

Like the first time I did rotating shift work in the civilian world, which quickly decided could not do that anymore. Okay. But. There was overtime pay, there was overnight pay there, there was, it was amazing. Mm-hmm. Uh, you know, it was about the same amount of work for like triple the, uh, price, which obviously the military has ways of saying that they break even.

Sure. With food and housing. Sure. Housing all that Right. Free travel around the world is, is something I hear a lot. I don't never got to use that for some reason. Um, but yeah, it's definitely interesting. What would you say was the worst part, if anything? I will just add to your, to what you said a second ago.

I will give any veteran if I interview someone and they have on their resume, they're a veteran. I already give you five points just for being a veteran. Now you still have to prove yourself, make sure that you're a good fit for the position. But you being a veteran, you already get a couple of brownie points, right?

Um, worst experience. Hmm. I didn't really have a bad. Enlisted life. I was, you know, I was sitting in a cushy air conditioned office for four years. We went down to Pacific Beach and Gas lamp San Diego to party on the weekends. Um, you know, I, I didn't get in much trouble. I stayed pretty clean and outta sight, outta mind.

Uh, I had a good time. I, but again, I, I don't, I don't have any great stories to ride home with. Um. I, I had a pretty cushy, easy four years. I really can't, there's not even a single thing that I can say this one. Well, yeah, we, we had a colonel that used to love his boots and Utes runs, you know, twice a year.

And, oh my God, this colonel, lieutenant colonel, he was older than most of us, but man, he could PT. Like nobody's business. He was just one of those dudes who didn't look like much, but my God, he would be out there with us or we'd be out there with him rather for hours, boots and knees doing the obstacle course running across base, doing that obstacle course over there and then coming back to the first one, running that one again, we're out there for hours and everyone dreaded it.

We all hated it and there was, you better put in your, your leave, like before it gets announced because once it's announced, you do not get to take the day off. Like there is nothing you can do to get out of it. The only person who ever got out of it was that master guns because he was drinking buddies with that colonel.

Hmm. Uh, I don't know if y'all have um, this as one of your cadences, but we had one in the Navy. Pretty sure the Army and Marines had their own version, but it's uh, it was about a grandma who PTs too much. When my grandma was 91, she PTD just for fun and it, when she was 92 she ptd better than you when she was 93.

She ptd better than me and it goes, just goes on. It's just her. P ting all the way into heaven. And then p ting in heaven. Uh, it was just about grandma. That's funny. And then there's another one where it's like, what? Oh, there there was a funny cadence. It was like my grandpa was a big marine, but my grandma was an RDC.

She wore the pants in the family, you know, it was mm-hmm. So funny. But, um, that's funny. I was gonna say, you mentioned California, um, Marines in California. I'm sure you got some funny stories there. What would you say, uh, what, what did y'all spend a lot of free time doing? Was it parties, was it just, were you more of a, one of the guys who did the tourism kind of stuff or what were you into?

Yeah, I mean, I, okay. I, I've always been a geek, always been a nerd, computer dude, right? So I would have my little computer set up in, in my barracks room, and I would just spend a lot of time on the weekends, on, on the, on the nights, just sitting at my computer and just dilling on that, playing games and being on the internet.

Um, always geeking out on something. Um, I, I will share one story, one funny story that happened to me just because of, it's kind of unique that it happened to me. So I went to the px, uh, on base that was, uh, local to us, and, uh, went to go buy some liquor. And the gal be at the counter, right? The, the cashier check.

She goes, can I see some id? I'm like, sure. So I threw her my Alaskan driver's license again, you know, me being enlisted from Fairbanks, I still have my Alaskan id. And then she goes, oh, Alaska, it must be pretty warm down there. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pause for a second, right? Let you all noodle on that for just a moment.

She says, you know, it must be pretty warm down there. And I go down there. What do you mean by down there? And she goes, you know, down there Alaska, it's gotta be pretty warm. I paused again and I go, where do you believe Alaska is? And she goes, you know, down there by Hawaii. So Oh, in the box. In the box, man.

'cause the box of the, the weather report, right? You, you show the lower 40 eights and Alaska, Hawaii always to the lower left. I'm like, oh, oh, no, no, no, no. Oh honey, no. Serious. I told her Alaska is, is neighbors, uh, is between Canada and Russia. I told her we get negative 40 in the winter time. Right? It's, it's not down there by, by anywhere.

It's all the way up there. It's cold as hell. And then she pauses for a second. She cocks her head at me and she goes, are you sure? I'm like, no woman. I just lived there for five years. Of course, I'm sure Jesus. I'm like, you know what? At least she tried. You know what? You're not the first person to tell me a story like this.

The amount of people who believe come on the little box, like, it's so sad. They're the same type of people to walk into a building when there's two of them. Uh, little throwback to the beginning of episode. Yeah. But I will say, um, yeah, I, I've heard people say that before and I'm like, it's, um, no, it's not.

And it's not just Alaska. I think the amount of. Geographical misconceptions around the world is, is insane. Um, if you, if you someone where Portugal is, sorry to interrupt you. If you ask a random person on the, on the, on the street, were Portugal, is they point somewhere in South America? It's not. It's over in Europe.

I'm sorry, go ahead. I didn't mean to, I was just gonna say, uh, like I remember in um, high school, they, they had us. Form teams and compete in a race of drawing all of America. And like none of us could draw all 50 states, you know, or, or at least like draw a, a rough outline, you know? Yeah, yeah. And um, it was kind of funny 'cause everyone had the whole west coast, the whole east coast, and then the middle was just Texas, maybe some other states, but there was no Indiana or something.

Right. No Kentucky, no Tennessee, you know, all that stuff was missing. Um, and then, uh, yeah, I've heard. There was someone I was talking to in the military. We were sitting down at a table ready to take an exam and I was clowning on some guy for being from. New York, 'cause I was from New Jersey. Mm-hmm. And we were just doing our little, you know, northeast piece.

Sure. And some guy was like, why are you guys fighting New Jersey's? A city in, in New York, next to New York City? Like, aren't you all fr or something like that. Yeah. I was like, okay, I can't talk to you obviously. Good. Here. We're done. This conversation's over. Thanks. Yeah. I've heard a, I've heard a lot of, I'm trying to think, I've heard so many, um, mishap misconceptions like that, but it's okay.

I used to think like Egypt and France were like. Next to each other in like where Alaska was. So when I was very young, you know, and then you look at the map and it's like, oh, Canada's up there, Mexico's down there. Um, once you find out there's an actual place called Kazakhstan. I thought it was just a joke from that Borad movie.

No, there's a, that place exists. It's by, it's by all the other Stan countries like Pakistan and, and wedged in like right underneath Russia. I did not know that place existed. I'm like, oh shit. It actually does exist. All right, cool. Yeah, it's, it's funny, I had someone the other day asking me where the Philippines, you know, was, and I was like showing them and they didn't believe it was like a real place and stuff.

So yeah, it's uh, interesting. Same geographical misconceptions. And then, um, I was watching a video on like Bible misconceptions the other day. Also funny guy was talking about, Paul wrote a letter to the Philippines and I was like, oh, he. Close. I can see where the, where the misread was. Mm. But, um, yeah. But anyway, so what, you moved to Las Vegas?

Very different from Alaska. Uh, just speaking of geography, and that's a, that's a debate. Do you say Nevada or? Nevada? I. I call it Nevada. I don't, I don't care. Like it's fine. Like I, I have an accent too. I'm a, I'm not a native German or not a native English speaker, however you pronounce it. I don't care.

Like, as long as, well, I've noticed is like the East Coast people call it Nevada and the West Coast people call it Nevada. And uh, I was arguing with a military guy, he's like, why I live there? And I was like, guess what? My East Coast people are the ones who moved there and named it Nevada. So that's simple as that.

But, uh, I was just curious what, what you call it. So you, you just call it whatever keeps you the, the, the most outta trouble, right? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean when you say it. It's fine. Yeah. Interesting. So, um, you've been there for how many years again? Uh, since 2004, so just over 20 years now. I've been here longer than any other place, so I suppose I can call it home now.

Okay. And so, um, how do you like the lifestyle there and how does it, um, influence you? Well, look, I, you know, Vegas has a lot to offer. Uh, Vegas can also easily suck you into its underbelly, right? So me moving here, me having moved here in, you know, 2004, I was 24 at the time, I was a young, fresh out of, you know, military, kind of still kind of a little green, wet behind the ears.

Didn't really know much about how life is lived. I came from Germany, lived in Alaska, right? And then in the military. So it doesn't, I didn't really get prepped on yeah, living life, especially in, in Las Vegas. Um. So I definitely got into say like nightlife and, and clubbing. I never got into drugs until quite a bit later in life, and this sounds really awful.

I'm just saying recreational, right? Drug usage. Um, but at the time I was still very straight laced. All I did was drink. Um, and I just, you know, I got lucky, landed a job, and I just had to start adulting. Like, no one's gonna adult for me, so I had to do it myself. Um, and I just worked my way up the, the food chain, right?

The, the, the, the professional food chain, uh, to where I've now a, a fairly. Well paying, you know, career. I got a good title. I got a good team. Right. Um, I. I will say that there's a, there's a few things that, that kind of get that kind of get weird in, in Las Vegas. First of all, it's just a big island. Uh, when they say that, um, you know, be careful who you piss off at work because you'll see those same names at some point later on.

I figured. How can that be? There's so many people who live here. No, it's true though. Any industry, whether it be it. Or nightlife or restaurants or, or accounting or whatever, whatever industry you have. Um, it's just an island here. We don't have much more, uh, talent right. To, to draw from. Right. California, there's always a town.

If you just keep driving on the, on the five, but here mm-hmm. Las Vegas is it? Right? So unless you're a transplant or, or you just enter the workforce 'cause you become old enough, you'll start seeing the same names, right? Because there's just no new talent coming in. You'll start seeing the same names, uh, after having worked in an industry for a couple years.

So that took a little while getting used to. Um, I will say though, uh, as, as a benefit, we get the best food, the best entertainment, it's gonna be hard. Like, I know that me and my, me and my girl, we take trips to other places and it's a little difficult to lower your expectations. Mm. 'cause you figure when you go somewhere else, you're gonna be wowed by, you know, there offerings.

Right. But it's very, very difficult, probably impossible to top the entertainment, the food, the everything that we get here. Right. So. A little bit of adjustment to be made, but other than that, it's been good for me. Um, summer gets hot as hell. We, we we're about 107 today. Um, I will say that over the course of, of me having lived there for, or living, having lived here for 20 years, I don't think you ever truly get used to the heat.

I think you just complain about it less so. Yeah, that's about it. Yeah. Interesting. And then, you know, Las Vegas is known for a lot of casinos and games, but you are known for stupid games with stupid prizes, you know, can you tell us about, uh, that, and maybe one day you're gonna have a sequel called Play Smart Games.

Win Smart Prizes? Yeah. Well, that's not gonna roll with the tongue, just the same. I appreciate the, the, the offer with that though. Um, so yeah, I'll, you know, we'll segue into that. I, uh, so I wrote a book a little while ago called Play Stupid Games. Wins to prizes. And the subtitle is, uh, short stories about friendship, growth and social misdemeanors.

And I think that really wraps it up nicely. It's, it's 160 pages of short stories of my shenanigans, my mishaps, my foot in mouth moments, my non jokes, my dad jokes. Um, and then some more serious topics. I, I have some introspective opinions. I have some very unpopular opinions that I, that I share. For example, one of the unpopular opinions that I share in the book is that.

Um, when you are on the receiving end of being cheated on, first of all, it sucks. Being cheated on sucks. No, no doubt about it, but my unpopular opinion is that if you're on the receiving end of it, you have to take five or 10% of the ownership of it happening, because I believe that you as the partner, didn't provide something that your partner needed and then went to go seek it out elsewhere.

Not saying this applies to everyone. But as a whole, I'm saying as a generalized statement, that's one of my unpopular opinions, and they're more like that as well, that I share in the book. Um, I talk about, I talk about some growth, right? Uh, self-development. Um, some, some usable, like, some actionable, like life lessons, um, life lessons learned.

Um, yeah, it's just like I said, 160 pages of my silliness. It's unap unapologetically me, and, um. I, I'm really happy with how it came together. Uh, it's a labor of love, a passion project, and, and I got it done. Um, I, I didn't wanna be that guy who would tell his friends every couple months, Hey, I'm still working on that book, or manuscript or that painting.

Yeah. And everyone has that, that project, right. That they want to get done. It never gets done for most people, but they always keep telling people about it every few months of reminding them like, oh, great. Can't wait to see it. You know, until it's done. Well, of course it rarely gets done, but I didn't wanna be that guy who kept on talking about his project.

So I kept it really, really quiet up until it was literally finished. I got the first author's copy sent to me and then I started telling people, Hey, I wrote a book. It's gonna be out soon. So yeah, I'm very happy with the result. I. Yeah. And what was the inspiration behind a name with Stupid games and, and stupid Prizes?

Do you feel like you've played a lot of stupid games and won a lot of stupid prizes? Or what was that from? I, I think it's just, it kind of culminates the, the, the message, right? The, the energy of the book where it's, it's lighthearted, it's silly, it's fun. Not all of it, right? There's some more serious topics as well, but as a whole, it's supposed to be an easy read.

It's supposed to be for entertainment, uh, it's supposed to be lighthearted, and I think it hits all those things really, really well. And that title. Really kind of sums it up. And if you were to, if you were to look at the, the, the design of it, it has a very, I don't know, kind of whimsical, like a silly, like a lighthearted design to it.

Uh, the full front of, it's supposed to be a ticket, kinda like a, like an admit one kind of a ticket. So it all goes with a theme of, hey, being in Vegas, playing games, winning prizes, sometimes not the best ones. But yeah, it all kind of, all kind of shuffles together. When I first saw the book cover, I actually thought it was a game You played with friends at home.

Like it looked like it could have been a box. Oh, like an Amazon or something? Like you purchase it as a, as a comparison, yeah. And I walking down the target, you know, game out and be like, oh, look, play, play Stupid games wouldn't super Paris. There's, there's an opportunity for that. And then the other thing too, I was, one of the reasons why I picked it, one, because I love the phrase two because everyone can, can, um.

Associated with it. Like I think everyone's kind of, you know, muled that phrase over in their heads. Um, and, and three, it was one of the few phrases I wasn't taken yet. Right. Because there's a couple ones that I kind of mulled over and most of 'em were taken. And this one, the only thing I found on Amazon was someone's like belt buckle that, that they made with that saying on it, I'm like, oh, okay.

No one's got anything published under that. I'll grab it. Did you get the belt buckle? I did not. I, there was like, there was like belt buckles, like stickers and stuff, like bumper stickers. I'm like, you know, and there was like a notepad I guess you can buy with that on the cover of it. I'm like, no, that's fine.

Yeah, it's, it's good enough. So, um, you mentioned social awkwardness, foot in mouth kind of moments. Mm-hmm. And obviously I captured in the book, but could you give us one or two of the. Be, I guess, best stories, worst moments for you, uh, is usually the, the relationship there. The, uh, worst moments for you are the best stories for us.

So, yeah, fair. A little bit of embarrassment, right? A little bit of self embarrassment goes a long way. So I, I remember being at a festival, a music festival here in downtown Las Vegas many, many years ago. And, uh, I was standing in line at the bar and the gal in front of me. She got her drinks, one in each hand, and she was turning around, and as she did, she very lightly bumped her elbow into my side.

She didn't see me completely accidental again. She just lightly, you know, poked at me. And me being the drama queen that I am, I'm like, oh, oh, you hurt me, right? And she goes, I'm so sorry I didn't see you. And she really thought that I was having a, a genuine reaction. And then I, I, I like hold my side, like I'm clutching it, like I'm dying and bleeding out and everything.

And I looked at her and I said, I said, um. You always hurt the ones you love, don't you? And then she, and it was supposed to be just a funny little thing, right? We both laugh about it and then we move on. She like clutched her drinks and she, her eyes like went into another dimension for a split second.

That poor woman like took that phrase too hard and that she must have relived something. And then she looks at me, she goes, oh my God, I do. I'm like, oh shit. I did not mean to send her back to therapy. I'm so sorry. I did not mean to do that. So that's one. Um, another one was, uh, uh, another one was, okay, so I was at EDC for the ones who don't know what that is, it's a giant rave that happens here once a year in the backyard of our Las Vegas.

Uh, they say like, what, 250,000 people across three days. Wow. At 10. It's just insane. It's humongous. If you type in EDC into a Google search images, you, you'll see just the, the enormity of it anyway. A lot of silliness happens at these events. People are sober, some people are not so sober. Everything is fair game for the most part.

So I was in a porta potty one time doing some porta potty business, and next to me, or within the immediate vicinity of the porta potties where I was at, I hear a dude just. Like he's railing, like some of the Columbia's finest over in his porta potty and the privacy that I gave him, right? So me being a little buzzed, I thought it would be super funny and super appropriate to use my authoritative voice to say You're having a good time in there.

And this dude got, so it got so quiet for, for a good couple of, I dunno, 10, 20 seconds. I heard nothing else. And then all I heard was just the door swinging open and closing. This poor dude probably thought that I was like law enforcement or security when I heard him from outside the door. And I was, you know, gonna to, I don't know, whatever it was.

And I, at the time I thought it was funny, but looking back, I'm like, dude, that, that guy probably crapped his pants for, for a couple seconds. That reminds me of, oh, this is a bad story. So my dad and I were out riding bikes and, uh, in my hometown there was a. It was like a home for people who were mentally unwell enough that they needed to live there and be taken care of.

It was right next to the middle school, ironically enough, kind of weird spot for it. And, um, my dad was friends with the one guy, and, and he would see him in church and he would stand in the back and he would pray louder than anyone so loud, he would fill the whole church. Okay. And, um. You know, we, we saw him sitting underneath this, it was like a clock tower gazebo on the corner of like the center of the town.

Okay. And my dad just decided to, to call out the guy's name as we were Viking by, and he was like, Hey, so and so, and a de voice. He was like, it's me, God. Oh my God. And we, and we rode away and the guy was looking around. Well, we're driving the car the next day and we see him walking down the street shaking with rosary beads in his hands, looking around, my God.

And I was like, oh, that's not, he was already living in the mentally unwell home, but he was like, you know, he called him by name. It's me. God, that's awful from the bushes. 'cause we, we were biking by I know. It is. Just when you were talking about the authoritative of voice. That's what I thought of. I had forgotten about that for a while.

I, I felt so bad. He was shaking with the rosary beads, you know, gonna church. He's like, that's awful. I met God, God called for me. Jesus Christ. And he didn't, I, I asked him, why, what is it? And he didn't answer back. He, why did he say he was there? Just not to say anything. That's funny. And you know, of course, you know, we gotta be witty and say, well, the teacher is often quiet during the test.

They can't give you the answers. They just can kind of give you some guidance. You know, we had to make something up. Uh, so yeah. That's funny. We, we had, as you said, this, a minor me of a story too, that, like I said, we had students at the battalion that I was stationed at and, um, every so often we'd. Maybe so often quite a bit.

We would screw with them, just kind of, you know, have a, have a good time with them. So little crap, like, they'll go, they'll go into the head, you know, to the restroom to do their business. And if they're in the stall doing their number two, every so often we'd barge in there and yell attention on deck. And these young E ones, E twos not knowing any different, they're like, ah.

They're literally probably like right in the middle of doing their number two. And they're like, oh, we're trying to standing up. You don't. But again, 'cause you have that muscle memory of when you hear attention on deck, you stop everything and you pop to attention. So these poor dudes, you'd be like, oh, scrambling Howies.

Yeah. You know, it's, it's funny, my, uh, I, I, I manage this company and my, my one employer who's above me, he's former military, 20 plus years in the Army. Nice. And, uh, I told all the high school girls we worked with, I was like, whenever he walks in, just yell attention on deck or you know, like, my God. So then I told the, the one girl, I was like, it's called parade rest.

And when you hold open the door for him, I need you to stand like this and give her PTD my, and it is so far. He walks in like every time and he shared a story where like, um, every time his higher up came in, they would do the same thing and the higher would like turn around just to grab something and come back in and they would.

Do it. So it's, uh, doing good. It's just a little fun. And I will say one of the fun parts about working with veterans is some of those inside jokes. Mm-hmm. You know, um, acronyms that no one else knows and stuff like that. Like I miss the new community just for some of the nuclear jokes that I know no one else would ever understand, especially.

Like the nuclear veteran in military community is even more niche jokes. Oh yeah, for sure. I'm sure in it you guys have some Sure. Whatever. Yeah. You know, python code jokes and stuff like that, whatever, that no one else would understand. So yeah, it's a, it is a good time. And I was gonna say, remind me of the, uh, the bathroom.

There was, um, you know. At bootcamp, there's so much stuff happens in the bathrooms at bootcamp and take that as you will, uh, outta context that this sounds crazy, but I remember we had, we had not doors, store stall doors, but we had like curtains and I know people would run by and just open up all the curtains.

Oh my god. Stuff like that. And, uh, one of the craziest stories ever shared was that. They did a competition in this one guy's division where everyone jumped up like Spider-Man between the stall on the wall, and they were crapping in the air and they had a different shipmate watching them and telling them a little more to the left, a little more to the right and they were competing with each other.

I don't know for what I, I don't for stupid prizes, I assume, you know, there, there's a couple visuals. Okay. I got on the, I got on the internet in the mid nineties, back when the internet was a little bit more raw and wild west. And there are some things that, in retrospect, I wish I could unsee, but that mental image of how you described it, I wish I could unsee that.

I did not need to have that as a mental image. I never, I didn't ask for it. I still don't want it. I didn't ask for it either. I had a guy who was just sharing, thanks for sharing bootcamp stories and um, yeah, it was funny. We, so I don't know what they call it in, um, in the Marines, but. The first five days of bootcamp in the Navy, we called 'em P Days, and it's where you got all your shots and paperwork.

Paperwork, hurry up and wait, heel to toe, not to, but however you say it, right? And, and we went, I went during COVID times. So they would say heel to toe, six feet. And they, they're, they're pushing you together, pulling you apart. No one knows what, what's going on. COVID times, scary times, and, um. We on, on one of our last days, were in the same room as all the new recruits coming in for their first day.

I remember my, uh, rack bay, he was telling everyone, welcome to hell, it only gets worse. It only gets worse. And some recruits were asking him and I like, how bad was the peanut butter shot? And for those of you listening who, don't dunno what that is. I remember that. Um, you get it in your. Left butt cheek.

Um, at least in the Navy they have, you're with like 20 other guys bent over a table and the doctor's just coming along, poke, poke, poke, poke. Um, I jumped into the air. I did not, I actually like flinched up into the air and they're like, stand still. They grab you by the waist already down. Jesus, you, it's bad.

You receive it if you want to. I don't care if you want it or not, you will get this in your ass. It's kind of phrasing and it's, um. It's a thick liquid, like you can feel it inside of you. Mm-hmm. And that sounds really crazy outta context, but like where you have to, like, we would take water bottles and like roll it out to make it spread out more.

Um, so it was crazy. But the new recruits were asking us about it and we said, it's not as bad as the jelly shot. I go, the jelly shot. We said, well, there's peanut butter jelly. Right? You ever had peanut butter jelly? My god. In the beginning bootcamp you get a, a shot in your left butt cheek peanut butter shot.

On the last day, you get one in your right cheek that's even worse. And they call it the jelly shot. The jelly shot. They call it a jelly shot. 'cause this one draws blood. It's such a thick needle. Oh my God. And that's like the jelly and No, I know, I know, I know. We were, uh, we would call this hazing nowadays.

I, I'd probably get mastered for it. Um, I was listening to this. I wasn't a part of it. Right. I was just having, I happened to be with an earshot. No, you, you traumatized these poor kids. I plausible deniability. But yeah. So these four guys spent all of, well, they probably went and asked their RDC about it and their RD C was like, that's stupid.

Who told you that? You know, but, um, yeah. What, what would you say was the, well, I guess Marine Bootcamp is probably a lot more, um. You know, uh, prim and proper, the Navy Bootcamp, but I'm sure you guys got into some shenanigans, uh, when the, you know, the drill sergeants or whatever y'all call them, uh, weren't around.

Do you have any, anything crazy that happened in your division? Yeah, I mean, we didn't have any, anything crazy, crazy. Like we didn't have any blanket parties. No one got hurt. We only got a couple people who got dropped, uh, due to whatever issues. Um, looking back, it's one of those things. Oh, no, I, I will tell one story.

So this is okay. I wasn't there for this. I was told this story by you were within earshot when, uh, my, my, my buddy, uh, who I met, I met a, you know, as you meet people throughout your military career Yeah. You become friends with them. So while I was in MOS school, fresh outta bootcamp, you go home for a couple days, you go to MOS school.

Um, I, uh, me and this dude became friends and he told me a story about how in his platoon now. I had to take his word for it. No idea if it really happened or not, but just take it with a grain of salt. But you, if you, if you are military or you know veterans, you know that this next story as you hear it, you, you can probably visualize it, you can probably think to yourself, yep, I could totally see that happening.

Okay. So I don't know how it was for the other branches, but at least for us in our platoon anyway, every night we do hygiene inspection. You take your shower at the end of the night, then you come out with a towel wrapped around you, um, and you all lined up, uh, in the, in the squat bay. And then the drone structures will come with a little moon beam, the little flashlight, and they just did a hygiene inspection to make sure you don't have any cuts, bruises, right.

You don't have any kind of weird, like, you know, incre toenail black eye or anything like that. Mm-hmm. Right. Just a, just a welfare check. Right. Health check. So. And I know every platoon has a bit of a different way of doing it, but ours was, um. No, I'm sorry. What, what he's, what he explained to me was that, uh, theirs was, even though you have a towel wrapped around your midsection, you, you grabbed, you grabbed a towel, you do a 360.

So you spin around as you're facing away from the drill instructor away from the entire platoon. You open your towel and then you put it back together as you, as you face back around, right? So your man is never, ever, like, exposed to anyone, but you do the whole, you know, open towel, closed towel thing. So story goes that my buddy across from him in the squat bay.

It was this tall, lanky black dude that when he was wearing that little towel around his waist, his member, you could see a dangling, like the head of a dangling at the bottom in between his legs. Um, and again. As I'm visualizing it, I'm, I'm trying to keep it together. So as the drone instructor walked up to him and asked for hygiene inspection, this dude, you know, opened the towel to the 360, and I guess his, his memory got airborne.

So much so that it gained speed and height and slapped the drone instructor right on his thigh, making an audible thump for everyone in the immediate vicinity. Hear this now, can you imagine, first of all, the embarrassment of the recruit, the embarrassment of the drill instructor on the other hand? What do you do?

You did exactly as you were told. You just got slapped by big black, big black dick on your thigh. Don't what to tell you. This whole thing is so crazy to me. So we didn't have a hygiene inspection at all. So this entire thing just sounds so weird to me. I mean, it makes, it makes sense, uh, to a degree, but that is.

That is just one of those Yep. Just one of those stories. Yeah. Um, I can definitely see it happening based on other stories I've heard. Mm-hmm. Like you said, I, I've heard a lot of weird stories. Okay. And, uh, we could go on for days and days. What I'd like to know, I mean, I kind of asked earlier mm-hmm. In my own joke, what are we thinking about for the future?

Are you gonna write another book? Is this the one and done? Or what is the future looking like for you? So I want to get this thing off the ground first, see if it gains any traction it has initially, right? The initial push of telling my friends, coworkers, families, all that good stuff, right? Uh, it's kind of hit a bit of a lull that's, I'm trying to get the name out, trying to get me out there, the name of the book and everything.

Um, hence me talking to you and a couple other people on their podcasts. Um, we'll see how this one does, right? I want to have the proof in the pudding first. There's still some stories to be, had, still some experiences to be to bere written about. There are some things I left out that in retrospect, I could have put into it.

So at the time, not looking at that being a thing, but time will tell. We'll see. Yeah, for sure. We're gonna have your website and the description below for people to check that out. Like you said, it's, uh, entertaining and, uh, quick read and uh, it definitely sounds like a good time. You know, I think, and like we said in the beginning.

It's perfect for if you need a laugh to pick you up because, uh, as we said, laughter is important. Humor is important. Uh, especially in, uh, environments like the military, like first responding, like nursing and like all those, you know, where you're working long hours, where you have long days, where you go through a lot.

But I think it's important in general, you know, and, and there's a way to do it as I've, uh. I actually gave a talk at Podcast Movement Evolution Chicago on integrating comedy. And you have to know the time, the place, the audience, the style. Um, like you said, uh, if you were, uh, performing standup comedy and you did your non, your non jokes might not be a good time.

Um, you know, so it's all about the, the time and the, the place and. You know, knowing, especially with people close to you, have been through stuff, uh, what might bother them or not, especially with your partner in a relationship or your family, but it is important and it is, uh, essential to have humor and, and you know, also just story sharing and human connection every day I think is so important.

And so what would be your final message for everyone as we wrap this joke up here? Yeah, so I. I like to think that, I mean, if you listen to this podcast or this talk up to this point, you get a good idea of who I am and what I am and what I stand for. Um, the book definitely, you know, uh, reflects all that.

The only thing I wanna pass on to everyone else, um, is that, look, my life has been pretty adventurous. I've made some really good experiences, uh, some heartaches, some headache, right? But I hopefully learn from all those. Um, I was once told a quote, uh, during my. Uh, personal growth, self-development path. It went something like when you see a fork in the road, you take it.

And I really thought that was interesting of, you know, it's easy to sit at home, play video games, and watch TV and just be holed up and do the work, work thing, then, then do the at home thing. Yeah. Um, and that, that works too. Like, there's nothing wrong, you know, inherently wrong with that. But if you want to have some experience, uh, make some stories, make some good memories, write life beckons, but you have to answer the call.

Yeah. No, I agree a hundred percent. You know, I never saw myself doing comedy, speaking about comedy. Uh, it was really, I was at a conference. It was my first time ever traveling away from home, first time traveling by myself, and then on top of it they go, Hey, we're doing an open mic. Who wants to perform comedy?

And I said, I've already. You know, gone on this, you know, five hour drive that I, by myself, first time traveling alone, I don't know anyone here. You know, I'm brand new to this. Mm-hmm. Why not? You know? Okay. And, and, and, you know, way if it went really bad, I would never do it again. That's fine. Um. But I think it's so important, like you said, to chase after life and, and take those risks and, and try and try something new.

Mm-hmm. You know, I think it's so important, like you said, to try new stuff and, and, and to learn from it. Uh, if it doesn't work out. But if it does work out, then you've gained something. But like you said, um, so many people stay in their comfort zone and they don't realize they can expand it, but mm-hmm.

You know, it's a risk to go out there and try and expand it, but I think it's important for everyone to do so. Yeah, I, I liked, I liked that whole message that you just shared with everyone. One, one story that came to mind as you said that, uh, I did some travel to in Europe a couple years ago, right before the pandemic.

And I was in a little, in a little, um, coastal town in, in Italy, and I was gonna turn in for the night and I was walking up the, the, the road or whatever it was to the Airbnb that I was at. And then right before the last tour, there was a little wine. A little wine shop, whatever, wine. Not like a restaurant, but like, just like a place that you can have wine, like a wine bar, I guess.

So a couple people inside, I think it was four altogether. And then the person who worked there, I figured get a night cap, get a glass of wine before you turn in. Um, go inside, sit down with these four strangers, start making small talk. They end up all being Americans as well. And, um, that night, one of the couples ended up excusing themselves, but the other couple and I hung out for the rest of the night.

And that night turned into one of the most memorable, fun entertaining nights I've had throughout the entire trip. So, of course that's not to say that every, every turn you take will turn to an amazing story, but it had not been for the well. Let me stop by and let me get a night cap. Night cap. Let me, lemme get a glass of wine before I turn in.

That in itself was the only catalyst that I needed for it to become, like I said, one of the most memorable nights that I've had. Yeah, for sure. So ladies and gentlemen, I encourage you to check out the book and to connect further with Mr. Andy here and see what, uh, conversations y'all can get into. But Sandy, I appreciate you coming on the show today, sharing your stories, your jokes, and uh, can, can we take one more joke for the road?

One more joke. I'm gonna give you a dad joke just because I love dad jokes. Yeah, yeah. Have you checked the prices of chimneys recently? No, I haven't. No, they're through the roof. I, I, I love dad jokes 'cause they're just so, they're so wholesome, so dumb. It's so wholesome. It's so wholesome, so dumb. But yet so cleverly, you know, written as well.

Yeah. And um. I wish I had one in retort, but I'll, I'll leave it. Get the book that whole a couple pages on them, right? There's a little library full of them. I'm gonna have to go read your book to, uh, get, get some, uh, to stuff under my hat here. And for everyone else who has a thinking cap or hair somewhere to keep these chokes, uh, definitely check out that book.

But thank you again for coming on the show today. I hope, um, you know, we made some people out there laugh and have a good time. Mr. Whiskey, thank you for having me. Had a good time talking to you. Um, yeah, let's do it again sometime.